Actually week 8 has been the worst of them all. The firestorm that is going on in my mouth and throat is more painful than I could have ever imagined. Treatment ended this week and the weekend actually has been the worst of all, I’m droping more pain medication than I have the entire time and don’t know what to think. I would have hoped that things would be getting better but, they are getting worse. It’s Saturday nite and tomorrow we are planning on going to church and I pray that I can get through church with out tons of medication.
Things seem to be pretty much the same sick on the weekend and not really getting anything done, and the week went on with rads and chemo. Throat hurting and the week ends pretty much the same with chemo sick on Thursday and Friday, Saturday a bit of recovery and tomorrow starts week 8 the last week of treatment. Treatment ends on Thursday thank God, I can honestly say I have had enough of this and am ready for it to be over.
Week 6 came with being sick all weekend and the pain level increasing to levels not yet seen, but pain meds are working well, there is one rad burn on my neck that is just irritating because it’s in a bad spot and my shirt keeps rubing against it, my weight is down from 195 to 179 pounds, which the doc says isn’t really too bad, but of course doesn’t want me too loose too much more otherwise I could see a real lack of energy and ability to get things done.
Well I have 9 rads, and 2 chemo treatments to go and then, a PET scan 10 weeks later and analysis to see if it has popped up somewhere else. The prognosis is still real good the tumor has shrunk to the point where I don’t even feell it when I do a self examination. Hopefully when this is over I will have some time to reflect on the experience and document the learnings.
Bring on week 7
Well I’ve been through 25 rads and 5 chemo treatments my throat is so raw but it still seem as if the Magic Mouthwash seems to still give me some releif without too much vicodine except at night to sleep. The hard part is my sinuses draining and cloging up my throat which is uncomfortable to say the least. I have 3 more weeks with 15 rads including a boost and 3 more chemo treatments. I can not wait until this is over cause this has been my worst week having trouble concentrating and keeping my mind working either at work or even on this as I just feel so crappy. Life a day at a time is really getting hard I’m looking at the end of the term and I think that has been hampering my day at a time attitude as I’m getting close.
My life comes with new things this week. My food is now puree, tonight was ground chicken with gravy puree, mashed potatoes, and puree pears, didn’t taste bad it’s more the thought of it. I still have some sense of taste, but my saliva glands are starting to go. My throat is getting very sore and talking for a long period of time is tough and will get tougher in the coming days. The real concern is the two sores under my tongue, they, just really hurt and having real trouble managing that pain. I will see the dentist tomorrow and see if there is something he can do for me on that front. Now it’s just come down to managing energy and pain, and trying to get through the day one day at a time.
Later for now
Hi all, treatments are getting tougher, chemo is playing its games with me one day good one day not as good, so we have gone the I have good days and not as good days and we really don’t know one from the next. The one thing that is good is I still get hungry and I want to eat, it’s just my throat is starting to hurt and swallowing is getting harder every day. I have one more day and then two days off for the weekend and I will be able to get some work done over the weekend, and get caught up a bit. I am still working and adding value at work and will continue as much as I can.
I am finding out that I get very worn out during the day and any work I do, do I am very deliberate and have to check my work usually twice, which really is impacting my efficiency, but I guess better accurate than efficient. Life throws you these curve balls and some of them aren’t too bad but I will tell you this, this sucks.
The weekend was good, Katie, Jamie, and Hanna came to visit, it was so good to see them. Sometimes going through this illness and being in another state from family I feel like Barbara and I are going through this by ourselves, and then someone comes to visit to remind you that you’re not alone. The Super Bowl was really great to watch with someone who had an interest in the actual game not just the commercials. I talk to my sister and my mother at least once a week and my sister-in-law Judy does check in with Barbara once a week or so. There is nothing like physical contact someone here in the house and visiting. Guys if you can come remember I would love nothing more, if you can’t I understand and love you so much as I know your thoughts and prayers are with me.
Well today was check up day with the nurse practitioner Amy and I have a few large mouth sores and my throat is very sore so she came to the rescue with a script for “magic mouthwash” and pure lidocaine, of which my insurance company the dorks won’t approve both so until I can straighten it out “magic mouth wash” is on me it’s really not that expensive but it’s the point, she prescribed one to allow me to swallow and one to make brushing my teeth easier. So now it’s time to fight with my insurance company. Take care guys and will write soon
The week has been going pretty good until Wednesday kind of crashed and burned about 3:30 in the afternoon after radiation. Also I’m finding out that I get a severe amount of heartburn and lost 3 pounds last week. So the my oncologist wants me to just pile up calories. My sense of taste is starting to go hoping that my sense of smell will make my food seem like it tastes better. The water I’m drinking tastes a little like metal, and my gums are starting to get sore from brushing. If this week goes like last week the crash and burn will last until Saturday. Still hanging in a day at a time and working that way too. With work I’m going to try something new going in a little later and going back after Radiation on Monday, and Wednesday, and Thursday at least, and working remote on Fridays. Tuesdays will be the challenge with chemo, but I think with sleeping later there may be more opportunity to work remote.
This weekend is really going to be great, Katie and Jamie are here for the weekend and we will get to show them a little of Midland and they are going to stay until Monday so they can watch the whole game.
More to come
This was week one, and seven to go. Today is a really tired day,but the good thing is I’m hungry, and that is a good thing. I have taken it pretty much one day at a time. The real challenge has been the schedule Tuesday night after chemo I fell asleep at around 9:30 and woke up wide awake on Wednesday morning at around 1:00 am. I think what I might start doing if this keeps up I might start doing some work from home. There are so many things I can do that I don’t need to be in the office to do that I can get done early in the morning like that. I will keep you up to date, maybe things will be a little different next week.
Here we go all….Monday afternoon we start radiation and that will go all week and I will have chemo on Tuesday afternoon from 12:00 to about 3:00 or 3:30, and then a little break and radiation from 4:12, can’t figure out the weird appointment time, and should be out of there by 4:30 or so. I think about what other things I will be able to do like exercise a bit, or some kind of activity. I’m starting to feel like I dont’ do much and really want to do more things. Not necessarily work type things, just more things that aren’t, cleaning, laundry, or grocery shopping, it sometimes seems that’s all we do.
My attitude also needs to change a bit. I need to stop having cancer and start curing it. I have been sitting around here and having cancer, I haven’t been thinking about what I need to do for myself to help cure it. I think the pity pot started after they put the tube in and I’m really not liking it, the pity pot I mean, not that I am really in love with the peg tube either. I know I will have to work, but I really need to figure out how to manage energy, and get the most out of what energy I have, so I can get the things done that are my responsibility.
When I think about responsibilities, they are increasing, Getting to church, and my responsibility for my spiritual growth, I will need to keep many of my work responsibilities, my heath is going to be a top priority, even stuff around the house will have its place, and I hate to beat this horse to death but all these things hinge on me managing my energy levels and doing the things I can do efficiently that I can, grabbing rest when I need to rest and work when I can work.
I will work it out through a bit of trial and error. It’s just weird that getting sick like this has so much other stuff that goes with it, not that I didn’t think it would but you don’t realize how much.