Here we go all….Monday afternoon we start radiation and that will go all week and I will have chemo on Tuesday afternoon from 12:00 to about 3:00 or 3:30, and then a little break and radiation from 4:12, can’t figure out the weird appointment time, and should be out of there by 4:30 or so.  I think about what other things I will be able to do like exercise a bit, or some kind of activity.  I’m starting to feel like I dont’ do much and really want to do more things.  Not necessarily work type things, just more things that aren’t, cleaning, laundry, or grocery shopping, it sometimes seems that’s all we do.

My attitude also needs to change a bit. I need to stop having cancer and start curing it. I have been sitting around here and having cancer, I haven’t been thinking about what I need to do for myself to help cure it.  I think the pity pot started after they put the tube in and I’m really not liking it, the pity pot I mean, not that I am really in love with the peg tube either.  I know I will have to work, but I really need to figure out how to manage energy, and get the most out of what energy I have, so I can get the things done that are my responsibility.

When I think about responsibilities, they are increasing, Getting to church, and my responsibility for my spiritual growth, I will need to keep many of my work responsibilities, my heath is going to be a top priority, even stuff around the house will have its place, and I hate to beat this horse to death but all these things hinge on me managing my energy levels and doing the things I can do efficiently that I can, grabbing rest when I need to rest and work when I can work.

I will work it out through a bit of trial and error.  It’s just weird that getting sick like this has so much other stuff that goes with it, not that I didn’t think it would but you don’t realize how much.

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